Raking in the Dough
by DecaTilde
Summary: Brian wants a new collar and starts a leaf-raking business with Stewie, Jasper, New Brian and Vinny. However, they soon feel that Brian's not being fair. Will Brian get that collar, or risk losing his friends and family? Based on the Doug episode "Doug Inc."
1. The Commercial

_Raking in the Dough_

A _Family Guy_ fanfic

by LDEJRuff

based on the _Doug_ episode "Doug Inc."

* * *

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you'd do anything to get it? Well, that's what happened to Brian Griffin.

* * *

Chapter 1 - The Commercial

* * *

It all started one day at the Griffin house when Brian, Stewie and Vinny were watching TV in the living room. A commercial had just come on.

"Are you a dog?" the announcer asked when the commercial began. "Do you want to stand out in front of a crowd of tens, maybe thousands?" A collar with light squares was then shown. "Then this is for you!" the announcer continued. "Introducing the Razzle-Dazzle Collar! It comes equipped with LED reflector lights around for those walks out at night. And there's no need for those metal hooks, because it's easy to come off with a Velcro strap. And best of all, your name can easily be programmed for identification with the downloadable app for your touchscreen phone. The Razzle-Dazzle Collar is available at your local pet store, or you can order by phone for delivery. Charger and battery included."

Brian was so amazed at the collar demonstration that he started speed-dialing Quahog Pets.

"Hello," he began, eager. There was an indistinct response on the other line. "I'd like to order the Razzle-Dazzle Collar. How much _is_ it?" Another response, which left him a little disappointed. "But I only want _one_." ... "That's the price just for one collar?" ... "Well, thanks anyway."

Brian hung up, and Vinny was understandably sad to see his brother's expression.

"I take it the collar has an exorbitant price?" he asked.

"Yeah," Brian answered. "How the hell am I going to make that much money?"

"Well," Stewie began, "I suggest you beg Lois and the fat man."

* * *

Brian took Stewie's advice later that day during lunchtime in the kitchen. However, Peter and Lois kindly shook their heads.

"I dunno, Brian," Peter said. "That's way too much just for one light-up collar."

"Maybe it's best if you get a job or start saving," Lois added. " _You'll_ work it out."

Brian hung his head in defeat.


	2. Getting Paid and Starting a Business

Chapter 2 - Getting Paid and Starting a Business

* * *

Later that afternoon, Brian had raked some autumn leaves while Vinny held a bag and Stewie held a calculator.

"So, Stewie," Brian began, "how will I have saved up enough at my current allowance?"

Stewie pressed a few buttons on the calculator, and was disappointed with the result.

"I don't think you'll live long enough to have saved enough," he said shaking his head. "It would take 140 dog years. And you're eight."

Vinny sighed. "Well, I guess you'd better get a job then."

"I guess you're right, guys," Brian replied.

"Aww, dammit," Glenn Quagmire's voice said, rather disappointed.

This got our trio's attention, and they ran right next door.

"Got a problem, Quags?" Vinny asked.

"Yeah," Glenn answered. "My autorake went south on me. Now I can't make my lawn leaf free in seconds."

"Gee, that's too bad, Glenn," Brian replied, disappointed.

Glenn then thought of something. "Hey, while I take my autorake to the repair shop, would you rake the leaves in my yard, too?"

"You mean, the old-fashioned way, Mr. Quagmire?" Stewie asked, brightening.

"Sure," Glenn answered. "I don't know how I'm able to understand you, though, Stewie. I'd gladly pay you guys for it."

" _Pay_ us?" Brian repeated, his tail wagging, as Glenn got a few dollars out of his billfold. "Sure!"

"Here you go, fellas." With that, Glenn handed each a dollar.

"All right," Vinny said. "This is good. This is good."

"Hey," Brian replied as Glenn got inside the house. "Glenn just gave us an idea on how I can get that collar."

"Yeah," Stewie agreed. "Getting paid by neighbors for raking the leaves off of their lawns sounds like a _great_ idea. It's a cooler way to pitch in and help out in the community than _mowing_ lawns."

* * *

Later that day, over at the Fuller house, Mrs. Fuller nodded in agreement to Brian's question on getting paid for raking the leaves off of her lawn.

As she watched Brian and Vinny put the leaves in the bags while holding a box of Tasty Juice, Olivia was impressed.

"This is great, Stewie," she said. "It's hard to believe that a baby and his dogs would get paid for relieving neighbors' lawns of autumn leaves."

"Well, you know what they say, Olivia," Stewie replied. "Nobody gets a job done better than a sentient canine."

Minutes have passed, and after a job well done, Mrs. Fuller paid both Brian and Vinny for raking the leaves.

 _"Wow,"_ Brian thought. _"Getting paid for raking leaves would get that collar quicker for me. If only my friends would see me now."_

 **Cutaway/Fantasy:** Brian was walking in the Quahog Dog Park, wearing the Razzle-Dazzle Collar around his neck. The girl dogs were impressed at seeing the collar he wore.

"Oh, Brian," a girl Basque Shepherd wearing a blue collar said. "You really know how to please a crowd."

Brian chuckled. "Why, thank you."

* * *

Author's note: The Basque Shepherd pretty much resembles and sounds a bit like Barbara from Villains' Bad Girl's _Family Guy_ fanfics. However, I want _this_ Basque Shepherd to sound like Grey DeLisle Griffin instead of Evanescence lead singer Amy Lee.

* * *

Our trio then drove over to the Quahog National Bank.

"Gee, Brian," Vinny said as all three got out of the car. "Putting our money in the bank to earn interest would take a long time."

"I know, Vinny," Brian agreed. "I sure wish there were a _faster_ way to do this."

"Don't look now, fellas," Stewie said wearing a sarcastic grin, "but Grandpa Carter's here, too."

Speak of the devil, Carter Pewterschmidt _was_ at the bank, agreeing to buy another company.

"So, what's your point, Stews?" Vinny asked.

Stewie replied, "If _anyone_ knows how to make money faster, it's my Grandpa."

As Carter was about to go out, Brian got his attention.

"Excuse me, Carter. Stewie, Vinny and I are starting a business, and..."

"Oh, business starters," Carter understood. "I remember _my_ first business. I started making my own sculptures and sold them. Eventually, I became rich. So, I hired a lot of people to do it _for_ me, and look at me now."

"That's great, Carter," Brian replied, impressed. Turning to Stewie and Vinny, he continued, "I bet if _I_ hired people to help me, then the money will _really_ roll in. You guys are my first two, so you're hired."

Stewie and Vinny were delighted.

* * *

The next day at the Griffin house, Jasper and New Brian were called over from Los Angeles for a meeting.

"What's this all about, guys?" Jasper shrugged.

"Yeah, what's this about?" New Brian added.

"Brian, Stewie and I are startin' our own leaf raking business," Vinny answered.

"And you guys are hired," Brian added.

"Raking leaves?" New Brian repeated. "You sure this is a gold mine?"

"Positive," Stewie answered.

"So, since you're the boss, Brian," Jasper began, "what are you going to call this business?"

Brian thought about it for a few seconds.

"Well, there are four dogs and a baby in this living room. How about I name the business 'Four Dogs and a Baby'?"

"Yeah," Vinny agreed. "I like it."

"It's sounds like a better business than a combination lemonade stand and computer specialist booth," New Brian added.

 **Cutaway:** We're at what appears to be a lemonade stand. Two first-grader kids were busy counting money and checking their computers.

"Okay," the boy began. "If my calculations are correct, then the amount we made on selling lemonade is $15.26 in coins."

The girl added, "And the amount we made on helping with educational computer games is $30.52, _also_ in coins."

"I guess all of it adds up to enough money to get that video game we wanted," the boy guessed.

"Yeah!" the girl agreed. "Let's celebrate."

* * *

Within the next few days, Four Dogs and a Baby raked leaves from lawns all over Spooner Street. Eventually, they took lemonade breaks. Every time a lawn was cleared of autumn leaves, they got paid, and the money rolled in. However, it rolled back out when Brian daily paid Jasper, New Brian, Vinny and Stewie, leaving himself with only a few bills.

"Oh, boy," he sighed. "I need _another_ way to make money faster."


	3. Expansion

Chapter 3 - Expansion

* * *

Later that night, before Stewie's regular bedtime, Brian read a book about how to get rich quick when a repeat of the Razzle-Dazzle Collar commercial came on.

"Hmmm," Brian said. "This chapter has to explain about some ways to increase a market revenue." He began reading until he found a solution. "Aha! Market expansion! Why didn't I think of it before?"

* * *

The next day at the garage, Four Dogs and a Baby had a meeting. Brian had shown his employees a map he drew of Quahog with multicolored pushpins in a section.

"Now, as you can tell by the pushpins in the map," Brian explained, "they represent our customers. Now, look at the rest of the map untouched. What does it say to you all?"

"The map's too big?" New Brian asked.

"Nope," Brian shook his head. "We got to expand the market." He then showed a card box. "These cards I've printed out will let our customers know about Four Dogs and a Baby."

* * *

The group's first stop of the day was the Quahog Mall, where Brian's voiceover explained what the group did for their market expansion.

 _"All we got to do is hand out these cards to new customers. They'll give us a call if they need their yards leaf free."_

That part of the plan worked, and many Quahogians gave Four Dogs and a Baby a call to clear their yards of leaves.

The group stopped at other places, too, including the Brown house, Mort Goldman's Pharmacy, even the Drunken Clam.

The more the group cleared leaves from lawns, the more money piled up in Brian's piggy bank. Everything had worked perfectly...well, nearly.

* * *

A few days later, there was another meeting in the garage. Brian's map was nearly full of pushpins.

"We're doing good, fellas," he said. "If we can keep expanding at _this_ rate, maybe I can suggest hiring _more_ dogs and babies, _and_ suggest change the name of our business. It could be global."

 **Cutaway/Fantasy:** We see the garage as a big building for Four Dogs and a Baby, in the fantasy called "2,000 Dogs and 50 Babies". Brian sat at his desk, talking on the phone.

"Amber, baby," he chuckled, "you're talking too much. I can sell _twice_ what the Sultan is offering."

"Talking to your stock broker, B?" Vinny asked.

"Yes, Vinny," Brian replied. "The Sultan of Brunei wants his yard cleared, and he wants his rock garden polished. Can you take a jet?"

"No prob, Brian. See you later." With that, Vinny gave Brian a thumb up and left for the jet.

"Jasper," Brian dialed, "hold my calls for the next hour. I'm going to lunch."

"Yes, Brian," Jasper replied.

Brian got up from his desk and got into his limo. New Brian drove it.

"Where to, Mr. Griffin?" New Brian asked.

"McBurgertown, please," Brian answered.

Back to the garage.

"Hey, guys," Chris greeted. "Mom says it's time for me to walk you."

"Sorry, Chris," Brian kindly disagreed. "No time for a walk now. We've got work to do."

"Oh," Chris understood. "Well, good luck clearing more leaves."

"All right, gang," Brian said as Chris left. "Let's go to work."

* * *

Within a next few days' time, the business grew and grew, and more yards were cleared all over Quahog.

During one of the group's stops, they gazed at a yard where kids _played_ in piles of fresh autumn leaves.

"Crap," Vinny sighed. "I wish _we_ were in there."

"Yeah," Brian swooned, thinking about nothing but work. "All those leaves."

The rest of the group shook their heads and shrugged in confusion over what Brian just did.


	4. On Strike

Chapter 4 - On Strike

* * *

The next day, Brian got a chalk board out near the rest of the group.

"Okay, guys," he began, "I've been working on our efficiency. I think it's better if we split up to cover more of Quahog." Drawing a few lines and arrows, he continued, "Vinny, you start on Main Street."

"Huh?" Vinny replied, confused.

"We've got a job to do," Brian continued, drawing more lines. "Before you can understand how to rake leaves, you've got to understand what rakes are all about. Now every rake has two parts, one is the wooden handle and the other is the metal teeth to rake leaves." Brian kept continuing on rapidly, but throughout his lecture, everyone else started to become either dizzy or scared. Finally, Brian finished, showing a scribble on the board. "Okay, everybody got it? All right, let's go!" He then blew the whistle.

* * *

Near Spooner Street, Brian held a bullhorn in the middle of a street, while the others held rakes and bags.

"Vinny, you're raking New Brian's yard!" Brian called. "Come over here!"

Vinny ran over to another yard, one where New Brian wasn't at during the day.

"New Brian, go left!"

New Brian went over to another yard.

"Stewie, bag the leaves over there!"

Stewie looked both ways before running to the yard Brian pointed to.

"Jasper, 15 McFar Lane! Vinny, now you're raking Jasper's yard! Come over here! New Brian!"

The others worked as fast as they can, until they crashed into Brian. All five laid on their backs, hurt.

"Ouch," Vinny said in pain.

* * *

Their work day done, Jasper, New Brian, Vinny and Stewie fell on their backs after they got paid, worked up. However, Brian still didn't seem to mind.

"Good news, everyone," he said. "I'm gonna draw work maps for you tonight, so we can get _more_ work done tomorrow. Okay, quitting time."

As Brian walked away, New Brian got up and began to address Vinny.

"I hate to tell you, Vinny, but that big brother of yours is a total dick."

"I know, New Brian," Vinny replied, "but I still love him. There must be some way to get the Brian we all know back."

"Wait!" Stewie said, getting up. "I have an idea."

* * *

The next day, Brian looked at his chart to see how much money Four Dogs and a Baby have made.

"Wow, we sure have made a lot," he said. "Only seven more yards to clear, and then I can finally get that collar." He walked out of the garage to share the good news. "Hey, guys, we have only seven more y..."

He stopped short to see that the other four are walking around carrying signs, and chanting "Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!"

"What... What the hell are you guys doing?"

"We're on strike, Brian," Jasper replied, "because you're a slave-driving dick."

"We don't have any time for this," Brian disagreed. "We need to get busy."

"We ain't workin' no more until it's like it used to be, Brian," Vinny replied. "Like we used to be buddies."

"And not slaves," New Brian added.

"Can't it wait, guys?" Brian pleaded. "Just seven more yards!"

Again, the four chanted "Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!"

"All right, then," Brian understood, sternly. "Forget it! I'll do it myself."

The others stopped chanting as they saw Brian walk away with his rake and a few bags.

"Yeah, I'll show 'em," he grumbled to himself. "I'll get the job done all by myself, and I don't need _anybody_ to help me."

* * *

During the times he cleared those last seven yards of leaves, he thought only of that collar he wanted. He worked harder than he ever had in his whole life, until finally, he panted on the welcome steps of the Griffin house, like the dog he was.

"I did it," he whispered, finally reaching his goal.


	5. Employees or Friends?

Chapter 5 - Employees or Friends?

* * *

Later that day, Brian walked over to Quahog Pets with all of the money he made. He can finally get the Razzle-Dazzle Collar he wanted so badly. But somehow, when he got there, he wasn't happy. He thought about Four Dogs and a Baby, and how bad he treated them earlier when they were on strike.

"Oh, hello, Brian," Carter greeted, coming out of the pet store.

"Carter?" Brian said, surprised. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I just bought one of those new Razzle-Dazzle Collars for Seabreeze. Anyway, how's business going, Brian?"

"Uh, Carter, what would you do if your friends who worked for you got mad at you and went on strike?"

"I'd just dump them," Carter answered. "You can always get new friends, but not a good business. As you can tell, good businesses are hard to come by."

"That's true," Brian agreed, "but I like the friends I have."

"Take my important advice, Brian," Carter explained. "People can either be your employees, or they can be your friends."

Brian thought about what Carter said when he looked at his money, and finally realized something. He smiled as he put his money away.

"Thanks, Carter," Brian replied before he ran off.

"My pleasure, Brian," Carter called as he waved.

* * *

The next day, Brian called the other four to a very important meeting.

"I guess you're wondering why I asked you all here," Brian lectured.

"Brian, I can explain about the strike," Vinny interrupted.

"No need, Vinny," Brian replied. "I reached my goal yesterday because I did all the work myself. But now, I want you to see what I got with all that money."

"Brian, do we have to see your dumb collar?" Jasper whined.

Brian got a box out. "It's no collar, Jasper," he replied. "It's something even better, for all of us."

The others were confused then, until Brian opened the box to reveal five tickets and five hats.

"Wow!" Vinny said. "Tickets to Oyster Bay!"

"It's my way of saying thank you for your hard work, everyone," Brian replied.

* * *

That afternoon, Four Dogs and a Baby, now just referring themselves as Brian, Jasper, New Brian, Vinny and Stewie, celebrated at the clam-based theme park in Quahog. Brian spent the money on this trip, and it was worth it. And the moral of the story is that friends and family are more important and fun than a light-up collar any day.

* * *

The End


End file.
